


Manana

by kittyuuri



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bananas, Crack, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Masturbation, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 04:52:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10779960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyuuri/pseuds/kittyuuri
Summary: Minseok meets a sexy talking banana named Luhan. Sin ensues.





	Manana

**Author's Note:**

> i actually wrote this ages ago but never posted it because i hate myself for writing this trash :-)))  
> (also, this is my first time posting to ao3. hope it worked?)
> 
> but anyway, here you go, i hope you enjoy reading and have a fun time sinning ;-).

Holidays have officially started and Minseok is hopelessly bored. 

His friends have all ditched him – Yixing back to China to visit his family, Joonmyun busy working at his family’s business and Jongdae feigning sickness when really he was just at Baekhyun’s house playing games all day – and his starve for any human interaction is slowly driving him mad. Even his family had left on vacation without him (he wouldn’t have gone anyway, but it’s the thought that counts, right?) and he had the house all to himself.

At first, he was glad to finally be free from the stressful senior workload and annoying teachers, and to be able to laze around all day without any real responsibilities, only the scorching summer heat is now more than unbearable, perhaps even bordering on Baekhyun-unbearable. The repair man has long stood up his date with the living room air conditioner and the ceiling fans are perpetually stuck on ‘low’ mode. Summer has barely even started yet the heat can already rival the pits of hell.

Minseok looks up from his spot on the couch and watches as helpless flies land in the shade beside the window, only to slowly burn to death because of the humidity. It is so hot that even the ice cubes he had gotten from the freezer only five minutes ago to place on his forehead have melted onto his face. He darts out his tongue to catch a drop of water at the corner of his lips. Salty; the taste of miserable tears that have been shed.

D-ding! The familiar tone of his phone signals a new text message and he digs it out from between the couch cushions. 

_From: Kim Jongdumb_  
_Received: 22/4 11:36AM_  
_“asdjkshfsjaf h yungg g gie geuss wat_  
_asdhkdak;’ baek yhun sed my dikk is_  
_asdjfk prett y afsdkglaf;;111@3211”_

Minseok lifts his eyebrow. He is about to type back an amused reply when he decides that no, Jongdae had decided he preferred Baekhyun’s company over Minseok’s and so he could no longer be listed on the bro list. The benefits of this “bro list” are of course Minseok’s undivided attention, unconditional love and never ending support. But Jongdae has just earned himself a spot next to Creepy-Chanyeol’s name (Creepy with a capital ‘C’ for obvious reasons) and a deletion from Minseok’s contact list. Hmph, serves him right, Minseok grins with satisfaction.

Checking the clock he sees it is almost nearing breakfast time. Perks of being on holidays and living alone – there is no one there to chastise him about sleeping times, healthy eating habits and whether he has washed last month’s laundry or not. He groans as he stands up from the couch, blotches of black clouding his vision from sitting up too fast, and makes his way to the kitchen.

He takes the last of the cornflakes out of the pantry and empties it into a bowl. The final few crumbs look a bit like snow. Only brown and possibly poisonous. He sets it on the table and goes to the fridge to look for milk. Last night’s leftovers litter the shelves and half-eaten snacks lay unwrapped. Besides that there is barely anything else edible. He makes a mental note to go grocery shopping later. Picking up the milk bottle, he sniffs it. Not sour, that’s good enough. He pours it into his cereal.

Once he’s done eating, he drops the dishes into the sink to wash later and picks up a banana from the fruit bowl, before trudging back to his seat on the couch. He flicks the TV on and browses through the channels, settling on some melodrama (he swears he doesn’t usually watch dramas, there’s just nothing else on.)

He doesn’t realise he’d fallen asleep until a sweet voice wakes him from his nap. Groaning, he bats away the bleary grogs of sleep and turns the TV off, hoping the voice will just stop. He was just in the middle of a good dream, something to do with Kim Jongin, the dancer boy in the junior grade, confessing to his best friend Sehun in the middle of the school cafeteria, only to be called out by the principal for public misconduct because he had started a flash mob dancing to Sistar’s Give It To Me. Oh wait, that actually happened.

He’s about to go back to sleep when the voice sounds again. This time closer to his ears and definitely not coming from the TV. Internally panicking, he jumps up and holds a pillow across his chest.

“Who is it?” he asks. There’s no one there.

Grumbling, he goes to sit back dow-

“Wait!” Minseok rapidly turns his head to the source of the sound. It’s coming from the coffee table.

Cautiously, he creeps forward, armed with the pillow in his hand. “H-hello?”

“Minseok-kie! Down here!” The voice is clearer this time, sweet yet still masculine sounding. And apparently, it’s coming from the banana.

Minseok knew it was hot, but not this hot for him to finally go insane. Whatever. He must be dreaming. He pinches himself and yelps from the sudden pain. It’s not a dream.

“You idiot, what are you doing?” the banana says, in the most judgemental way a banana can sound. Minseok can almost hear the incredulous scoff in its voice.

“Well, are you going to pick me up?”

Um. Alright then. Maybe he should just humour it. A banana can’t be that harmful, right?

Wrong. Five minutes later has Minseok situated on the couch, back supported by a pillow and legs spread wide. Somehow, he had been miraculously entranced by the talking banana and its sweet, saccharine words. Bruised brown spots on a smooth, curved body had never looked so sexy. Man, this heat sure was getting to him.

“Come on, baby, do it for me,” the banana coos encouragingly from its spot on Minseok’s stomach. Slowly, Minseok drags his shorts down to his ankles and kicks it onto the ground until he’s left in only his Mickey Mouse boxers. His shirt had left long ago, along with what was left of his dignity. Has he been so sex-deprived that he’d be willing to get it on with an inanimate object, and a talking banana no less?

Well, there’s no time to think about morals when he’s got a little friend to take care of. And he’s not talking about the banana.

“What’s taking so long, sweet cakes?” the banana asks from his belly button.

“H-hang on,” Minseok stutters in reply. This banana is doing things to him.

Slowly, he reaches down to rub at the wet patch pooling on his boxers. His cock twitches excitedly in its constraints and Minseok makes a noise of appreciation. His pants are slowly becoming more infrequent and the familiar heat is pooling in his stomach.

“Minseok-ah,” the banana whines childishly. Which is kind of strange considering it kind of has a deep, manly voice. It’s not just a banana. It’s a man-nana. “Take it off…”

“Oh, alright, alright,” Minseok mutters, disappointed that he’ll have to forego his orgasm for a little while longer. But anything to please his sweet, little banana. 

Slowly, he digs his fingers under the waistband of his boxers and drags them down until he is fully exposed to the world. Even without his clothes the sweat is sticking to his skin but he doesn’t care anymore – he’s got a job to do.

“Hang on, baby, let me do this first,” he says as he reaches behind him under the couch cushions and pulls out a half-used bottle of lube. Opening the lid, he drenches his fingers in it until they’re glistening.

“Ohh yeah, babe,” the banana hums approvingly as Minseok moves his fingers to his entrance. Slowly, he circles his index finger around the tight ring of muscle and tries to calm his laboured breathing.

“Mmmm…Come on…”

With the banana’s encouragement, he inserts a finger in experimentally, moving it in and out once he’s comfortable. Soon, he adds another, scissoring it around until he’s moaning from the pleasure. He reaches around a little, looking for that one sweet spot. White light suddenly blinds his eyes as he finds it.

“A-aahhhh…” Minseok moans wantonly as he squirms in his position. His inner arm brushes against his erect cock as he moves his fingers around his hole and he shivers at the feeling. The head is now glowing an angry red, precum dripping endlessly down the shaft and pooling at his balls. He is such a wrecked sight, yet the party has barely even started.

“You ready, cupcake?” the banana asks in a sultry voice. Somewhere in the back of Minseok’s mind, he thinks he shouldn’t be doing this, but the banana is oh so willing to take him and he’s long foregone reason.

He reaches out to take the banana off his stomach in the same moment as he takes his fingers out. He figures he’s prepped enough, still stretched from last night’s adventures. His breath comes in short gasps as he guides the banana to his hole.

When it first penetrates his entrance, he doesn’t know how to feel. It’s different from his toys, has none of the rubbery slickness. Instead, the banana is smooth, cool even, and so so nice.

“Oh, baby,” Minseok moans as he thrusts the banana in and out, his other hand fisting at his cock.

“Luhan, call be Luhan,” the banana says as it also moans in pleasure.

In out, in out, the steady rhythm they play, food and master. Minseok’s so close now he feels like he’s about to burst. He aims Luhan at his prostate and he swears sparks are flying. No one has ever understood him like this. No one has even held him in this moment of absolute weakness.

When he feels he’s about to spill over the edge, his hand moves up and down his cock harder, faster, while the other shoves Luhan in deeper. In another matter of time, he’s spilling his seed all over his thighs, hole clenching over Luhan as he rides out his orgasm. Spots of white blind his vision as he is filled with delirium.

He pulls Luhan out to thank him for a good time, when he realises the banana isn’t speaking anymore. In fact, it seems so mushy and slick with sweat and cum, that it takes a while for Minseok to realise his beloved companion is dead. He’s killed it. Death by orgasm.

“NOOoooOOoo…” Minseok wails despairingly as he clutches Luhan to his chest. “What have I done?”

He doesn’t know how long he spends on his couch, only cleaning up once he realises the sun has gone down and the moon is high over the horizon. Life is worthless now, more than it had been before. Now that he has lost his friend. Days pass by, but he never stops thinking of Luhan. The banana who called his name so lovingly, kept him company in a moment of insanity. All gone.

\--

It’s the first day back at school and Minseok feels dead. He’d spent the whole summer vacation wasting away and didn’t really get anything done (as usual). Jongdae had shown up at school attached to Baekhyun’s hip, and Joonmyun and Yixing were there to greet him at the school entrance. Yet he still feels empty.

When the bell rings, he begrudgingly makes his way to class for morning homeroom. He isn’t really paying attention when a tinkling voice makes his head snap up in surprise.

“Hello, my name is Luhan and I am new to the school this term.”

There it is. The sweet yet manly voice that still plagues Minseok’s dreams. The boy in front of him has honey blond hair and wide eyes blinking adorably like a deer. All at once, Minseok knows he’s in love.

“Luhan, why don’t you go sit next to Minseok over there?” the teacher says.

As Luhan makes his way down the aisle Minseok can hardly believe his luck. Is this a coincidence, or is it really fate?

Luhan drops into the seat next to him and sends him a blinding grin. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Luhan.”

“U-uh, I’m Minseok,” he manages to stutter out, blinking rapidly.

“Minseok?” Luhan asks with an expression of wonder. “Funny that, I once had a dream about a talking pineapple named Minseok. I think we’ll be great friends!”

Minseok leans back in his seat and thinks, man, what a good life.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading guys! hope you enjoyed it ahahahahaha (i regret everything).


End file.
